That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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