I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
