PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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