Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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