I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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