...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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