found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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