When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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