the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
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You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
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Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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