was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize