I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
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ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
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I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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