I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
