At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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