and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
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apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
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I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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