Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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