dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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