i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
