Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
