Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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