Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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