He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
This house was built for laser tag.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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