I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize