Don't you send me to vm
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
