party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
