What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
