Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I got her a Nickelback box set.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
