god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
