nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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