I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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