girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Also, beer. Big fan.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
