All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
