why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
