DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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