my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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