Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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