Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
