ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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