I'm going to jail i love you
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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