i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
