Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
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I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i believe in u and ur pee
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