You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
