Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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