But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Buhtt sex?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
