Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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