how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
