brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
