After last night, I could never be a politician.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize