she was so not down for the gang bang
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
