Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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