I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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