she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Just puked most of my soul out..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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