Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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