I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
