ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
