I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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