I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
