Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
