OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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