I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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