Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
