SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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