; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I love having hate sex.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
