I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize