that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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