Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
COCAINE IS GR8
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
