Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
