So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
